Goldberg's Adventure in Nazi Germany
by Kaworu Naha ga bisa
Summary: HITLER! YOU'RE NEXT!


A/N: In honor to Bill Goldberg, who just recently about to return on WWE, and the return of the great ShakespearHemmingway, who also just continued the mightiest of all crackfic, Garfield Effect, i decided to create this.

Oh, yeah. I don't own WWII. Maybe history channel did, tho.

Also, this is my first non-Evangelion fanfiction.

* * *

It was a great day in Germany for many, and the day where hell is about to break lose for many others as well.

It was the day where the fuhrer, Adolf Hitler, is going to launch the final solution.

Many people attended the speech. Soldiers to peasant, they were there to listen to their great leader speak about exterminating those pesky subhumans.

"People of Germany, I, the great dictator of Germany, have a good news for you all." Hitler said as he smiled a wicked grin toward his audience, "The final solution, the plan that will cleansed our mother Germany from it's filth, weaklings and all, is ready. Soon, we, the Aryan will..."

Suddenly, one of the SS soldier interrupted Hitler in his ramblings. The fuehrer looked furious, and became even more as he heard the news that made the soldier dared to break such an important speech.

"INSOLENT FOOL!" The fuehrer screamed, his face was red-beet of nothing but sort of the purest blood from the purest mankind, he then spoke again toward his soldiers, the fellow Nazis, the fellow audiences.

"Everyone. I'm afraid that we have to postpone our next step in making the great Germany great again. Because one fool...ONE FOOL! He just sabotaged the machinery. He DARED, to stop us, to stop our progress. Bring us the fool here!"

And so, the soldiers did what their great leader commanded.

The man who they brought to the podium was one hell of a human specimen. Big, tall, muscled up with gladiator build, it was no wonder that he managed to destroy the gas chamber factory all by himself. Judging by how he didn't suffer any amount of major injury, it would be a safe assumptions that the blood on his wife-beater shirt came from another man who was unfortunate enough to cross their path with him.

"My, my. This is one fine man. Our finest example of Aryan. It's too bad that you're not on our side. Also, your baldness makeSo..." Hitler paused himself before he asked for a gun, which he got a MP 40 gun for his trouble, "Before i destroy you by myself, i shall ask you one question...who, in the hell, are you to DARE TRYING TO STOP US?"

Still detained by the other S.S. soldiers, the man walked into the front of the great chancellor of Germany without any sign of nervousness from him, if he had any. The detainees could've sworn, had this man being any more intense, he would've dislocated their arms by his powerful walk alone.

"William..."He spoke with a menacing voice, but still more high pitched than you would think he had, "Scott...

"Goldberg."

Everyone in the crowd gasped. This man was a jew? But they were supposed to be...

"I-impossible!" Hitler screamed in denial as he dropped his gun. "A jew! A Jew cannot possibly be our near perfect example of an Aryan! You cannot be one of those pesky jews that we have to cleanse them from earth!"

"Oh, but i am, Dolfy!" The man smiled a smile that bring nothing but promises of pain, "And i came here, from 2002, because in the future, you brought people a lot of pain, and nothing but trouble for everyone in the world, especially the Germany, which you would destroy their future, their infrastructure if they-no. If you lost the war, which you did." Everyone in the crowd gasped again as they digested the new information , "but for me, you, Adolf Hitler, is nothing but VICTIM! Of my long list, of the man i already beaten. HITLER! YOU'RE NEXT!"

At this moment, the crowd were split. Some were understandably confused, some decided that they will fight for Germany, but not for Hitler and his crazy ideals anymore, some even already throwing everything they had at the madman from Austria as it was clear that he was nothing but crazy lunatic who cared for no one but himself.

But some still foolishly stayed on his side.

Several of the S.S. soldiers began to beating up Goldberg by everything they had. Baton, pistol-whipping...all they had just to beat the man down. No one dared to shoot the man down, for they feared that he would die as a martyr had he died in front of the recently exposed Nazi Germany. That, and some of them simply just going mad from the revelation, reduced their minds into nothing but savage shell of a former functioning Nazi.

But Goldberg was not just an ordinary man.

He was THE MAN.

Goldberg began to savagely overpowered the whole S.S. soldiers by himself. He no-sell everything they threw on him, even a super solid sledgehammer shot right on his face. Meanwhile, the rest of the S.S. soldiers that wasn't brave enough began to run to the safer place from the battlefield as they saw Goldberg speared a man so hard his dead body bent down like an U shape. It was clear; No Panzer can stop the man from making Adolf Hitler the next on his list.

Then a shot was heard.

And everyone gasped, as they saw a bullet wound on the forehead of the beast.

Someone shot Bill Goldberg.

And the only possible culprit was...

"He's a jew! He's still nothing but a jew!"

But everyone saw the irony.

A man who have been saying all things about being the superior race, cowardly killed a clearly superior human specimen that came from the race that they had vehemently viewed as inferior stock race.

It was clear for Adolf Hitler that he just lost.

And he ran away.

* * *

Adolf Hitler couldn't believe what he just saw.

In one day, his world has been turned upside down, as he went from the leader to the Germany people, to a man who had been thrown away as their leader de-facto wisely.

But the worst thing that happened, was when he began to running away from the angry mob.

At the last second before he sealed the door to temporarily stopped the man from grabbed and savagely beaten the crazy chancellor, he managed to saw a glimpse of Goldberg.

He just sat up right away.

* * *

"GOLDBERG! GOLDBERG! GOLDBERG!"

The crowd, the entourage, the protection was there, chanting his name as if he was the anti-messiah himself.

"GOLDBERG! GOLDBERG! GOLDBERG!"

The chant was began to heard once everybody saw the man was still alive, and the chants reached it's peak of decibel after he knocked the large gate by himself.

With a headbutt.

"GOLDBERG! GOLDBERG! GOLDBERG!"

The man still walked intimidatingly as if he had nothing but himself, as if he still had nothing but himself to beat that asshat Dolfy.

Of course, did he needed anything else?

"GOLDBERG! GOLD-

And the crowd panicked once again.

* * *

"Haha! How you like my gas, you bald prick?!" Hitler said so as he menacingly grinned over the screaming crowd who frantically tried to save their own head.

It proved more that Hitler did cared for no one but his own legacy, and ready to sacrifice his own people once his place in the history was in danger to himself. But why was he has to worry about it again? The only man that would be left once he finished the man off was his most royal of all soldiers, and of course, himself.

"ENOUGH! He must my die by now. GRAWITZ! GOERING! You two fatso! Have you finished preparing my airplane yet?"

"Y...yes, Mein Fuhrer."

"Um, i would like to eat the plane and..."

"ENOUGH OF YOUR EATING!" Hitler screamed as his mad Luftwaffe as he shot the poor fat bastard down. He said nothing as he began to step into his airplane.

And as the man looked again at the tunnel where they gassed Goldberg and his followers, he screamed:

"WHY WON'T YOU DIE! AND HOW CAN A JEW BE THIS BADASS!"

Goldberg was still there, walking slowly to his destination, the Fuehrer of Germany. Bullets bounced off of him, flamethrower did nothing to him. He was completely invincible, almost as if he was an incarnation of Goliath himself. Five poor S.S. soldiers tried to block him, but Goldberg simply caught and lifted them in a gorilla press, before he busted out their poor spine by the force of his slam. The result made the man exploded so much that the whole block became showered by their blood.

And just as Hitler about to fly away from his trouble, Goldberg exhaled.

Exhaled as hard as he can like if he was a dragon.

The result was a high-pressure deadly gas engulfing Hitler's airplane.

For some reasons, the gas also spreading like fire.

Okay, it was really a fire. And i don't know how the hell it came with the gas.

Um...nevertheless, that was the end of the madman's genocidal campaign.

* * *

Epilogue:

Goldberg's action finally gave the world the peace it needed.

After his super badass action, the world followed.

Apartheid was demolished, all dictators, whether they're communists or even Muslims, were soon thrown out of their seat, and everyone began to stop their colonialism. Even Japan, which have honors above all as their ethic code, saw their wrong and began to stop their conquest.

Of course, it took Bill Goldberg jackhammered the whole 731 base to make those filthy squinty yellow-face saw their wrong.

And soon, they began to further their steps. Racism stopped. Muslim and Jews finally made their peace after Goldberg represented his kind and showed how nice he was to everyone. Even Edgar Hoover managed to shallow his pride and insecurity and managed to make FBI become truly good, among other smaller things. Vietnam war never happened because there was no cold war to begin with. Of course, this meant there's no platoon or Full Metal Jacket, but perhaps it's a fair trade.

And now, it was year 2016, Goldberg was at peace as the history began to repeat itself. By repeat itself, i mean that Goldberg's wrestling run was all the same, from the demise of WCW to his one-year run in WWE. Time also has made it sure that Goldberg's good deeds as a time traveler became hidden, but he knew it was for the best. After all, no one wanted to be pigeon-holed as the ultimate badass and became suffering instead as the world kept demanding him to do good. It was also good that historians agreed that Goldberg would be known by the rest of time as simply 'The Mighty Jew'.

'I knew i should've beaten you that time...'

Now, nearly at his fifty biologically, Goldberg saw fit himself to return to the biggest wrestling industry once again. His reason was so his son could see what made his father became such a big deal in the first place (at least, what public know).

But his real reason was something much petty.

He had to fight the bloodline of his ancestor, the one who made his father suffer, the one who kept screwing his father of the deal out of pettiness. The one who gave god bad reputation.

The one who turned his father into Ghost of Sparta.

And now he found him.

"BROCK LESNAR! SON OF A ZEUS! YOU'RE NEXT!"

* * *

What will happen next? Will Goldberg legitimately beaten the hell out of Lesnar, with help from Randy Orton? Or will he succumbed into the great burial power of Triple H? Or will he and Lesnar make peace? Or is it all merely a scheme of Million Dollar Man, Ted Dibiase? We'll find out next, on Survivor Series, on WWE Network just for 9.99$ and-

AAARGH! ENOUGH!


End file.
